Looking Back

Here we are in July and I am able to look back at a full month of being doctor mom. I am exhausted, but so grateful. No my house isn’t clean. My bills are a bit behind. Different projects lay untouched around the house. My to do list has dust gathering on it. But...the past month has been full of intense memorable moments. I am convinced that nothing is more special in all of the medical profession than being present at birth and at death. This month I was able to be present for many births. That special warm moment when the mom cuddles with her baby for the first time is such a sweet time and I felt so honored to get to be present for that. Of course, usually I am standing between the woman’s legs delivering the placenta at that point, but nonetheless, it is a special time. Of course, I have seen some drama. Security had to come to 2 different deliveries and remove family members that were out of control. I nearly teared up as I delivered a baby of a mother who had alienated everyone in her life and here she was completely alone. She had to ask a staff member to take a picture of her and her baby. Each day, when the end of the shift would arrive I would drive towards my little oasis in Archdale, the OB drama fading behind me. It seems at that point in the day, time would begin to move at break neck speed. Nearly dark I would get home and find Michael and Cole swing on the front porch. I would nurse Cole, cuddle with him, at supper I would listen to Cole banter on about the day while Michael and I would attempt to get a word in edge-wise. During this time of the day I would attempt to memorize what the 3 month old version of Cole looks like so I will never forget. Then I would sit close to Michael and feed Cole for the last time for the night as he would slip into slumberland. When he is in my arms, so still and peaceful, I am sometimes moved to tears at how wonderful it is to be a mom. I still can’t believe that he is ours and that we get to keep him. Still 3 months later reality still hasn’t set in. This upcoming month is a different rotation and a different routine. But I will never forget my first month as a working mom. Intense, overwhelming, fulfilling, --and we all survived!