A day in the life...: My Best Friend, My Husband, Michael

It’s October 2012, I am up in the mountains for a rotation with a real family doctor up in Newland, NC. Not only is it great experience to see how Dr. Baker runs his clinic but is is also encouraging to see a doctor doing inpatient, outpatient and OB, and doing it all well! So wonderful to see someone doing what I dream of doing myself one day. My Aunt and Uncle are graciously letting me stay in their mountain home during this short rotation.

Since I am working here for a week , Michael brought Adia, Aiden and Cole up to see me for a short weekend vacation. We had a great weekend together. It was full of laughter, being silly, and memories I will never forget. As they drove away this evening my heart was sad and lonely. This beautiful mountain home was so full of life...now just silence echoes from the rafters. After working for a while to clean up the goldfish crumbles and wipe away little handprints; I decided to take a break. I kind of just stood there for few minutes, not sure what to do here all by myself. But I quickly decided to take advantage of this opportunity and I found myself in a bubble bath, reading my book, a glass of wine beside the tub, and snow flurries falling outside the large bathroom window. Oh yeah, it is snowing here today...in October! It was beautiful to watch the snow flurries falling down among the dark silhouettes of the trees as the last leaves of fall fluttered trying their best to cling to the almost bare limbs outside the mountain house. I truly enjoy taking time to sit, be still, and reflect. A rare opportunity with my busy job and busy home filled with our 19 month old’s work and play.

My mind shifted from the beauty outside my window back to thoughts about my family. Cole, his sweet personality and how fast he is growing up, Adia and her quick wit and kind soul, and Aiden who is full of energy and has such a strong love for the outdoors. But more than anything, as I sat there peering out into the fall evening, my mind goes to Michael. His smile, his laugh, his love for me, and for Cole, Adia and Aiden. In August we celebrated 10 years together as a married couple. I remember as a girl dreaming of one day meeting the man of my dreams. I didn’t know what he would look like or where I would finally find him. I certainly didn’t envision marrying an Asian redneck from the other side of Ramseur. As a college kid what did I really know about life and marriage? Yet, I had no doubt in my 21 year old mind on August 3, 2002 when I walked down that aisle. I knew, with a eerie, strong confidence, that Michael Caviness, who was waiting for me at the front of the church was the one I wanted to marry and be with throughout the rest of my life.

Little did I know what joy he would truly bring to my life. There is no way I could ever list all the things that I admire about him. But just to name a few of my favorite things:

1) The way he looks at me across the room.
2) The way he can get me to dance even when I don’t want to.(ok not all the time, but sometimes.)
3)His emotional strength and gentleness when I am blubbering and sobbing over unimportant drama or hurt feelings.
4) the way he has supported me through medical school and residency, even though these things took time away from him. He is truly proud of me and tells everyone that will care to listen.
5)The fatherly way he encourages Aiden and Adia.
6)The way he wrestles and cuddles with Cole.
7) The way he will strike up a conversation with absolutely anyone.
8) His strong faith in God.
9) He truly wants to hear my advice and sincerely listens as I give my opinion on work, school projects, and career planning.
10) He treats me as a partner in life, as an equal.

The most important thing he has worked hard to teach me during the past 10 years is how to enjoy the moment. This is not a small feat, me being a girl that constantly is thinking of and planning for the future. Being in the present is a bit unnatural for me. But what joy it has brought me as he has worked steadily to try to teach me this skill . Just this morning, “Wagon Wheel” by Old Crow Medicine Show came on the radio. Michael had all 3 kids up dancing in the living room of the mountain house and he was yelling for me to come join them and dance. Twenty-one year old Dawn would have told them to wait a minute and let me finish getting ready so we could leave the house on time, and the moment would have been gone. Today without hesitation, hair half brushed, no make-up on, I stopped getting ready and joined in the silly, exaggerated, soulful dance party in living room of the mountain house. The present moment can be so rich and special, and I am so grateful to Michael for helping me to recognize that.

On August 3rd Michael and I were in Newport, Oregon on vacation. We renewed our vows in a simple, private service. I have to say I look forward to our next 10 years. Where will we go? What will we find to laugh about? Will we be good parents to Cole? Where will we start my medical practice? Will Michael achieve his goal of being a fire department chief? So many questions with no clear answer. But I am sure about one thing: I am glad I get to spend the years ahead with my best friend, my husband, Michael.